April Showers bring...Mud

So April is always a time of remembering for our family. I lost my dad in 2014, and God rest his soul, he was not the best of story tellers. I say that a little jokingly; dad always tried to tell this particular story I'm about to share, and he always found a way to screw it up... In honor of that, I wanted to share it with y'all.

Back in 1988, my son was probably 10 months around this time, it would have been October or November...right as it was getting cold. My wife at the time was having one of her interior design parties, tupperware parties, you know, whatever it was, and the house was full. One of our friends Keith, and his wife Julie, happened to be there that night, and they had just bought a brand new Bronco. Did I mention it was BRAND NEW? Keith and I decided to take the kids (his daughter was around the same age as my son, you know, babies) out for a ride in the Bronco. It was either that or hang out at the party, so not really a decision.

We lived outside of Little Rock a ways at the time, right off the old Pine Bluff Freeway and Woodson Lateral Road. Right after Woodson Lateral crossed the freeway, there just happened to be an "easy" access to the power lines. Now, I should mention here that we were told when we left under no circumstances were we to go four-wheeling. We did not listen.

So we crossed over and ran the power lines up a good ways where it hit a dirt road that ran back into Woodson Lateral. Well, the road was gated, and there was no clear way around, so back down the power lines we went. As soon as we turned back on the power lines, we got high centered. Now this was not "stuck" mind you, and you true bumpkins will know the difference. Regardless, we were out, miles from home with two little kids that had little more than diapers and t-shirts on and with a ride that was not moving. Luckily, Keith still had all the stuff from their old car in the Bronco, which thankfully included a couple of jackets. We wrapped the kids in the coats and started walking back home.

Now it had to be 10 o'clock before we got back to the house. Both of our wives were worried, until we returned without the new Bronco. Julie was HOT! Keith took an ass chewing up one side and down the other and so did I. Once the intial chewing was done, Keith called his step brother (who had a Ranger with 10x31's on it) to come pull us out. When his step brother arrived, we piled in and headed down to the Bronco. I swear that Ranger didn't make it 200 yards down the power lines before he was "high centered", too. After we broke the come-along in a very unsuccessful attempt to pull the Ranger free, we were back walking home again.

Do you ever just know that it's going to be a bad night? This was it. When we finally got back to the driveway, I saw Julie coming, and Keith got another good round of ass chewing.

Finally, we broke down and called a wrecker service, who took at least an hour to get out there. The wrecker got stuck once, and when it was all said and done, Keith must have been out $300 for the Bronco and the Ranger. We made it back to the house around 3 am...and both of us had to work the next day. Let me stop here and make the point that Dad worked at Arkansas Electric Coop, the same place I was at the time (maybe why he loves this story).

I think what Dad also loved about this story is the way I was treated by my son. As this show goes along, I'll tell stories about my family, and you will come to realize that my son thinks he is a comedian, too. That night was no different, and I should have known then... The few miles back to the house the first time, with the kids in tow, Keith's little girl slept the whole time. Luke, on the other hand, felt he needed to stay awake and alert. Not only that, but he spent the whole walk home, MILES people, slapping me in the face, laughing.

Dad loved that story, and since Keith took the brunt of the ass chewing, I do, too. 

Till Next Time Bumpkins!


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